me

2011-05-25T14:25:00.002+08:00

im back n sick :(
down with flu and sore throat. best combination ever.
hope ill recover by friday 'cos im gonna put my separators on friday! :(:(

bahhh. at the rate im blowing my nose, im gonna use up all the tissues in Sg. lol.

2011-05-19T13:02:00.001+08:00

FINALLY THE LONG AWAITED TRIP TO BKK IS HERE! :D:D:D
SHOP TILL WE DROP WITH THE MOST AWESOME BUNCH OF PEEPS. :):):)

away from reality for the next 5 days! but definitely gonna miss 2moro!♥

2011-04-30T13:00:00.001+08:00

i'm really sorry. i've to be firm and harsh.

2011-03-31T22:33:00.009+08:00

i may not know how to express my gratitude and love i have for them.

but deep down from the bottom of my heart, they really mean a lot to me.

♥

Haven't been really great these days. Mundane affairs day after day. shuffling between school and home. Week 10-13 always leave me in a constant state of madness, esp this sem. Time to pull up my socks to waist level.

i'm praying for a miracle. Grandpa is diagnosed with lung cancer. With only 1-2years left to live, we just have to make full use of all the time he has. Keep him in your prayers my dear friends. Thanks.

When reality slaps you hard in your face, you just have to prove that you're stronger. For tough time don't last, tough people do. I can do it. :) I wanna take graduation photo with my grandpa. :):)

When life gives you lemons make lemonade .

2011-03-30T22:35:00.001+08:00

#idontunderstandwhy i feel so lethargic in school but the momemt i reach home, i'm fully awake!

2011-03-22T14:44:00.003+08:00

Last night i finally stopped living in denial, and broke down.

cognitive restructuring works.

i'm feeling so much better (:(:(:

ThanksS.

2011-03-15T11:21:00.005+08:00

I never liked social comparison, be it upwards or downwards.
I never liked being compared with others, especially in the domains which is closely related to my self-esteem. it instantly deflats my confidence level and my self esteem, which are very low to begin with.
I never liked it, never.
It never fails to leave me feeling uncertain, useless and bleakly depressed.
All the efforts to build my confidence level go crashing down, was it anyone's fault that i'm such a failure to begin with?

All my efforts to keep me happy... to keep me away from all the unhappiness...
but then again, how does happiness feel like? everyone is so caught up with the paper chase.

i need a breather.

2011-03-13T22:02:00.006+08:00

What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they're only for good times
Then they don't
When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone

* * * * *

can't get this song out of my head.
it's playing on repeat mode...

2011-03-09T14:59:00.001+08:00

Where's the missing piece?

2011-03-06T00:57:00.006+08:00

Haven't updated this space for quite some time...
so here am i feeling overwhelmed.

having done with midterms, i feel lost. i don't even know what i want in life. my future is bleak. i thought that i had tried my best studying for every test, on second thought, maybe i didn't try hard enough. i don't deserve to rest. seriously, i don't.

Break it or leave it. i need more self-discipline. i don't wanna let my parents down. i don't wanna let myself down.

why am i not born smart. sighhh.

on the other hand, studies aside. life's been pretty good to me so far.
with angels and guardians guiding me along the way. I'll be fine, hopefully (:

2011-01-07T13:22:00.004+08:00

Heehee all the cool iphone users.. have you ever sent any weird messages out due to dictionary aka auto correct?

take a look at this..

credits: damn you auto correct

2011-01-07T01:08:00.000+08:00

CREATED FORMSPRING! (:

check out the left side bar.

2011-01-02T22:49:00.010+08:00

HELLOOO 2011, SAYONARA 2010 (:

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

2010 was awesome.
Sister Claire moved in to stay with us.
Flew to Japan, went to Disneyland.
got my iphone & lost my iphone.
got into mapletree, made new friends.
managed to survive 2 semesters, 3 more to go.
skipped tutorials and almost got penalized.

sucky results.
21st birthday.
USS, flyer & explored many new places.

got emo, cried a bucket.
Felt like i was the happiest girl on Earth(:

ohhh and how can i forget, got my driving licence and got into an accident which wasn't my fault at all!

2011 is gonna be better! (:
spent my New Year's eve with the most important people in my life.
family members gathered to countdown. mad warm and loving (:
some got wasted, some were happily watching people got wasted.
looking forward to CNY!

Laugh as much as you breathe and love as much as you live.

Have a great year ahead everyone! LOVES.

2010-12-21T17:58:00.002+08:00

RAIN.

my results suck. it was worse than year 1 semesters, which i didn't really study at all. so, my hard work didn't really pay off :(
thank God there's a s/u option.
i'm left with 1 more s/u option. HOWWW NEXT SEM HOWWW.
seriously reconsidering taking up honours.

2010-12-20T14:06:00.002+08:00

NUS will be releasing our results tomorrow. yucks yucks yucks.

i seriously hate studying nowwww. can't wait to end the 3 years of nus life.

thus am considering whether to take up honours, or not.

well, it all depends on my results for this semester!

but then again, i don't wanna start working too!

Can't make up my mind on this :(

any advice???

2010-12-19T17:25:00.000+08:00

2010-12-08T18:23:00.002+08:00

Hello! Haven't been writing on this space...
cos i started to work once exam ended!

yea, currently working at the little red button! (:
dinner with mui leng last saturday at bugis and i lost my beloved iphone :(:(
there goes all my photossssssssss, and contacts, sigh.
thankfully my boyf decided to purchase a new iphone4 so imma currently using his iphone 3gs for the time being. Thanks dear!

Ever since i stepped into NUS, i realised time really flies and i'm already 21!
Really wanna thank all those who attended my bday celebration and those who sent me their well wishes! Thank you my friends. ;D

6 weeks gonna past damn fast.
I wanna meet all my friends before the hectic school term starts! will stop working on the 21st, keep me updated with outings and gatherings ya! LOVES :D

2010-11-29T08:51:00.000+08:00

LAST DAY OF EXAM! WOOHOOOO!

AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MYSELF(:

2010-10-31T17:57:00.002+08:00

ECP with my cousins today early in the morning!

Love the sun & the air(:

and of course, the company ((:

2010-10-27T23:40:00.007+08:00

AHHH. I'm so grateful that everything is over.
I will never skip any tutorial again, no matter what.
got presentation or not, also cannot pon.

the thought of losing 10 marks scare the hell out of me :(

Headed to Dr Cha's office after GEK lecture just to ask him to mark 1 question that he missed out. yea, just for that ONE pathetic mark which according to Sheekwang is very important.
I'm glad i did...... because he asked me if i have had any evidence that i went to the clinic on the 13Oct (?!?!?!?!), which i clearly did not have. So i passed him whatever Dr Tan wrote for me on the 25th and he accepted. weeeeeeeeee. (:(:
Initially i didnt want to give him b'cos what Dr Tan wrote had no link, like seriously no link.
" Please excuse Miss Yang for her tutorial on the 13th oct as she has been feeling down and stress for the past 2 weeks." She even had to write when she wrote e letter, 25th Oct. So much for the evidence that i went to the clinic on 13th Oct. but she said thats the best she can do. so yea...

anyway, i just wanna thank all my little angels around me. Thanks for praying for me as well. Dad, dear, and friends. (: ESP ELICIA. She even wanted to appeal to the head of department with me if Dr Cha were to penalise me badly for the tutorial.

* * *

17 more days to my 21st birthday celebration. Urghhh.
I have no idea what i wanna do. coming to my place just for dinner is so boringgggggg..
any suggestions for themes?

2010-10-27T00:05:00.005+08:00

Time flies. Year 3 sem 1 is coming to an end. I GOT INTO DEEP SHIT BUT IMMA GLAD ITS OVER!!! A MIL THANKS TO ELICIA AND MY DEAREST FOR STANDING BY ME! ((: Exam is drawing near. 3 more weeks to go. Last tutorial for the semester tomorrow, yea. I secretly hate tutorials. I hate participating...I always feel that i'm the dumbest in class. or maybe in the cohort.

NOTE TO SELF: I shall stop sleeping 10-11 hours a day.

Urrghhh. Gonna make a point to wake up at 9am everyday!

and stop being a sleepyhead in school.

GAMBATTE EVERYONE!

2010-10-08T11:29:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, i really want to hold back my disappointment...

and try to be the one...

2010-09-30T13:18:00.004+08:00

stumbled upon this at ohsofickle.

If you are wondering what are all those.....

The top 10 lies men tell

my bf uses no.3 every single day. Awesome.

the only one that he has never mentioned is no.7 lol.

how nice....

DOOM'S DAY TMR! GOOD LUCK TO MYSELF!

2010-09-28T22:09:00.000+08:00

How can anyone not love them? can't stop listening to them :D:D:D:D

2010-09-24T22:49:00.002+08:00

LIVE. LOVE. LET GO.

2010-09-06T00:51:00.003+08:00

urghh.
although my sister always make a hell lot of noise in the morning but i still miss her :(
although my sister always facebook or talk on the phone but i still miss her laughter :(:(
although my sister gets on my nerves sometimes but i still miss her presence :(:(:(
sigh. wondering how is she doing in cambodia...

2010-08-30T23:04:00.002+08:00

striving for school-work-life balance (:

2010-08-26T22:41:00.003+08:00

:D:D:D:D
headed back to MT today.
had lunch with muileng aka lao da at Secret Recipe ;D
it was so nice to see all the familiar faces!
for that short span of time, i left everything behind (:
tea with ch.t aka bff.
I am glad that i've a friend who really trust me.
and even though i couldn't provide a solution for situation he is facing,
i really hope that he feels better after getting it off his chest
HELLO, BFF, I KNOW YOU WILL BE READING THIS~~
Life may be unfair but we certainly will learn from out of this unfairness! (:
what doesnt kill you, makes you stronger,yea!

my most dreaded friday tmr....

got to go! bye! (:(:(:

2010-08-23T14:14:00.002+08:00

i don't know whats wrong with me.
i don't feel happy anymore.
i'm tired, tired from all the chasings i have done.
maybe it's time to stop, time to take a back seat.

it should have been the other way round.
This is a wake up call for me.

HECK & JUST LET IT GO.

2010-08-08T13:42:00.006+08:00

Fml srsly.

I hate it when lazy people give excuses like, " actually i can do it, just that i'm lazy."
C'mon if you really can do it, show it, prove it man.

Even my family members say this to me.
" You're not smart. You are there because you worked hard. Actually he can do it too, just that he's not as hardworking as you are. "
FML srsly. am not recognised for what i've done. How shallow can they be.
YES I WORKED HARD DOESNT MEAN I'M NOT SMARTER THAN HIM (in any areas, so what if he can talk damn well, i mean JOKE).

HARDWORK doesnt equate to Stupidity

NO HARDWORK doesnt equate to Intelligence too.

IT DOESNT WORK THIS WAY DUDE!

How can they put me down just like that?
I have to admit that i'm not smart, am just average compared to people in NUS but i'm definitely in some ways better than him.
Everyone has their niche in their own playing field.
This is not the way to bring my self-esteem down. Nutards.

May be i should just bum around and say, "OH I CAN BE A DOCTOR TOO. JUST THAT I DIDN'T WORK HARD ENOUGH." ---NOT.

NO EXCUSES, LAZY BUMS. ABSOLUTELY NO!

2010-07-31T11:00:00.001+08:00

my world is crumbling.

2010-07-26T22:00:00.011+08:00

HAPPY EVER AFTER

How many of us actually believe in being happy, ever after?

Growing up in society that is so academic oriented, i was bombarded with story books during my childhood. I was happy, living in my fantasy as the seed was planted in my brain.

and the three little pigs lived happily ever after.

and so Cinderella and the Prince lived happily ever after.

.
.
and the list goes on and on.

Gradually, I learn. We learn.

We no longer believe in happily ever after.

In reality, nothing last forever. Correct me if i'm wrong.

Nevertheless, this phrase caught my attention...

This fantasy world which may be far from fantastic still exist.

BHUTAN.

"A smile on your face is more valuable than a coin in your pocket."

Globalisation brings about higher standard of living and better lives.

However, how many of us are truly happy deep in our hearts?

we all get too caught up in the whirlwind of paper chase and corporate ladder.

Are we happy?

What left me thinking was,

In their most beautiful places, they build temples and monasteries, and everybody goes there.

In our most beautiful places, we build five-stars resorts, and only the very rich go there.

In their world, everyone gets a shot at fulfillment.

In ours, nothing is fair, the world is unfair.

Take me there. (:

credit goes to Lonely Planet.

and ultimately Carey Loy.
Thanks(:

2010-07-24T17:54:00.005+08:00

It has been months since i last updated my blog.
Life's pretty much awesome.

My life revolves around work now but it's coming to an end soon.
I really don't know to be happy to be sad about it cause i really enjoy my stay there. I guess the only reason for me to rejoice is that i do not have to wake up at 630am anymore.

Even though work drains my energy, it actually keep unwanted thoughts aside.
Apart from all these, i'm really glad to know my awesome colleagues.
I know you guys do not read my blog but thanks for bringing joy into my life and laughing at my silliest jokes ever. really helps in building up my self-esteem guys.

I know it's pretty obvious to you guys i haven't been the best of myself. My mood meter has dropped tremendously. Thanks for being concern. i'll be fine in no time. STILL AM THE CHEERFUL KAI XIN GUO in MT ((:

i'm gonna enjoy my last week in Mapletree to the fullest! love ya ppl :D

2010-04-13T15:56:00.001+08:00

if he doesn't call you, or appear at your doorstep.. it means that you may mean something to him but it isn't enough for him to make an extra effort to contact you. Don't be stupid.

2010-03-13T11:30:00.002+08:00

urghh i forgot my 3 good things write up for 2 days!

Thursday.
1) Lunched with Elicia at fong seng.
2) Yummy dinner at some ulu place.
3) Dear treated me magnum ice-cream (:(:(:

Friday.
1) Freeeeeee day
2) Managed to read 2 chapters in the afternoon. (urgh, lousy i know but its an achievement to me. I usually slack off my free days. )
3) Yummy dinner at the same ulu place!

HAPPY 26 MONTHS DEAR! (:

2010-03-10T21:49:00.002+08:00

Dr Hong mentioned in the lecture that if we write or think about 3 good things everyday, our happiness will be enhanced.

3 GOOD THINGS FOR THE DAY!

1. Dear dear "sent" me home today.
2. I SAW MY EYE CANDY!
3. ONE presentation down.

I think i should not continue with 3 bad things for the day 'cos that will bring my happiness back to baseline. Hah!

2010-03-04T16:36:00.005+08:00

Longevity egg. boiled using the water from the volcano, i think. it has so much iron and sulphur in it that the eggs turn black.

eat one of those, you live for 7 more years.

two, 14 more years.

three, you die earlier.

So in all, we can't be too greedy! >.<

DAY 2

i've no idea where it is. Just know that we're at an active volcano.

Picutures taking too long to load. i'll skip.

*******

Hell has just started. i'm glad that i'm still alive and kicking.

2 more weeks to go! Even though there's really nothing to be happy about 'cos when April comes, it spells E-X-A-M.

Urgh. Can't wait for my Iphone too.

i'll end off with this...

The power of love...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmCpOKtN8ME&feature=related

the reason why i love musicals, too. (:

Hope you guys love it too! (:

2010-02-25T15:46:00.005+08:00

i have a love-hate relationship with March.
assignments,tests and presentation.
Hell starts next week.

but then again, i can't totally hate March.
I can't wait to get my hands on IPHONE (slow,i know. cos i just changed my phone last year.

urgh. i still cant find my usb cable for my camera so i can't upload the photos we took in Japan!

this silly girl actually brought scissors in her bag which explains why her name is written there.

below: view from our hotel room.

in front of our hotel

all these photos are taken at Mt Fuji or somewhere around there :/

2010-02-23T23:08:00.001+08:00

damn it i wasted 60 bucks on driving lesson. again

urgh. i should stop being so blur!

2010-02-20T00:17:00.001+08:00

5D Japan Fantasy 14/02/10-18/02/10

Fantastic tour guide and tour leader.

Great weather.

We are happy people(:

2010-02-09T14:43:00.002+08:00

5 more days to Japan!

i'll be my first time taking airbus a380!! ^^

2010-02-07T20:34:00.001+08:00

My Melody. (:

2010-02-06T23:04:00.001+08:00

We all make mistakes in our lives.

If only we can erase all our mistakes with Mr Eraser.

If only...

2010-02-04T09:11:00.000+08:00

last night, i slept with my tears.

2010-02-03T00:17:00.011+08:00

i was reading my emotion textbook and there was this experiment on the recollection on romantic experience and how people appraise the situation. i was amazed by it seriously. i wanted to apply it on myself but i do not have any romantic experience at all. =..(

We all love to do things to make our loved ones feel happy and special, don't we?

We all feel surprised and happy if your partner dropped an unexpected note or a gift on an ordinary day.

What about special days such as anniversary or valentines?

We expect something.

but what if theres nothing?

is it right to feel disappointed, sad or angry?

To me, i believe that we need to feel special once in awhile to keep a relationship going. When you put in effort to make your partner happy, you'll feel more attached and happier. and the smile on your partner's face will be priceless (:

AND i think we do not need constant reminders on such things, seriously, if you put your heart into it.

It is not whether you can or not, it is whether you want or not.

2010-01-31T22:57:00.002+08:00

i just want a home.

2010-01-27T21:46:00.002+08:00

headed to school at 10am only to realised that i forgot that laboratory session starts NEXT WEEK. Urghhh. so i had a terrible long "break" from 10am-2pm. what's wrong with me anyways, kept reminding myself that lab will only start next week but i stil forgot. and i conveniently forgot to bring my gek tutorial answers. :[

UHOOOOO! I have successfully appealed for a laboratory slot which starts at 12pm! Apparently i lied to the tutor but it was a white lie. but i totally smoked her. owells. ;D:D my timetable rocks!

2010-01-25T18:27:00.005+08:00

superficial

why do humans have emotions?

Is it evoluntionary beneficial?

anyway during my emotion tutorial today, Dr Tong said he used to let the class form groups with their/our own friends for presentation but from this semester onwards, he will not allow it to take place anymore. AND this is because he heard spoke to people from other top university and apparently lecturers from those TOP university randomly assign students into groups instead of giving the students the freedom of choice. urghhh so irritating. Thankfully my group mates look cool. hahahahaa.

****

Every action, no matter how small or big, counts.

I do take note of them.

2010-01-24T13:52:00.003+08:00

I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life and I thought, hey
You know this could be something

'Cause everything you do and words you say
You know that it all takes my breath away
And now I'm left with nothing

So maybe it's true that I can't live without you
And maybe two is better than one
But there's so much time to figure out the best of my life
And you thought that it got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two is better than one

I remember every look upon your face
The way you roll your eyes, the way you taste
You make it hard for breathing

'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away
I think of you and everything's okay
I'm finally now believing

That maybe it's true that I can't live without you
And maybe two is better than one
But there's so much time to figure out the best of my life
And you thought that it got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two is better than one

I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life and I thought, hey

Maybe it's true that I can't live without you
And maybe two is better than one
There's so much time to figure out the best of my life
And you thought that it got me coming undone

And I'm thinking, ooh, I can't live without you
'Cause baby, two is better than one
There's so much time to figure out the best of my life
But I figured out with all that's said and done
Two is better than one, two is better than one

2010-01-23T01:07:00.004+08:00

i screwed up the javascript of my previous blogskin which explains why i have this simple blogskin now.

Anyway, im starting to feel lost as tutorials are starting soon. so many assignments, presentations, projects and datelines to meet. i'm lost. i'm trying to pen down everything in my diary but i still do not feel safe. i need to feel and know what is ahead.... Why do i feel so lost this sem?? I can't afford to be a blur sotong this sem.
THIS MUST BE A SIGN. A SIGN THAT I NEED TO WORK HARDER THAN BEFORE!!

and im amazed that YOU know how i feel.

2010-01-22T17:28:00.004+08:00

Today i learned to look at things positively, not exactly new to everyone but it is something that is kept unconsciously in our implicit memory which depends on our appraisal on certain unexpected or undesirable events.

Prof Loh mentioned that he went to his GP regarding hair loss and his GP refused to give him medication which will help his hair to grow. Prof Loh said that he always believe that students would rather listen to a lecturer with hair than a bald lecturer. Then, his GP told him to look at things from another perspective. That is, he gained face when his hair drops. you know, Chinese people like to "gain face" alot. ( ai mian zi) so why ask for medication to gain hair when you can gain face without medication. So, that explains why his forehead gets more and more visible and his face gets bigger.

Do not cry when it's over, be glad that it happened (:

On a side note, it's Friday again. TOOO FAST. Tutorials start next week! BOOOOOOOO

2010-01-21T22:59:00.007+08:00

Few days back, during developmental psychology lecture, our lecturer showed us a video of a mother giving birth.. i swear it was not as bloody as i thought it would be but it was still damn gross.. on the other hand, i couldnt imagine how painful it was for the mummy as the baby's head had to squeeze through the tiny hole ( it wasn't very tiny it kinda expanded to 10cm but still it's a head,hello?!! ) and how the nurse tried to twist the baby's head so that the baby's shoulders would be able to pass through the damn hole. (poor baby!!) We were shrieking ewwing and ahhing till the lecturer paused the video and asked if we all wanted continue watching, LOL.

i swear i felt like crying throughout the whole video.. even Songern felt that way too.
I felt like hugging my mummy for all those pain she had gone through.

take home message: I'd think twice if i want to have a baby in future.

but then again, kids are cute, aren't they?

2010-01-13T00:07:00.000+08:00

Yes? No?

2009-12-31T16:43:00.001+08:00

" Love cannot be touched or even seen. It has to be felt with the heart. "

2009-12-29T19:36:00.001+08:00

don't know what modules to bid for

don't know
don't know
don't know

urghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :(

2009-12-29T01:57:00.003+08:00

“I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone,
but I can tell you what it is for me.
Love is knowing all about someone
and still wanting to be with them more than any other person,
Love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of.
Love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone,
but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you.”

2009-12-22T21:50:00.003+08:00

Trip to Korea was really fun.
As cliche as it may sound, no words can describe my wonderful experience there.
Be it the korean culture or skiing *two thumbs up*
Even though i regretted not bringing enough cash!
Check out my fb for the photos! (:

Received my results today.
Hard work paid off (:(:(:
So much for slacking for year 1, cant blame anyone for that.
Thanks to all my friends for making this sem more enjoyable! (:

and in advance...

Merry Christmas everyone! (:

2009-11-23T00:52:00.003+08:00

it's gonna end soooooon.

i can already smell FREEDOM :D:D

korea
Shanghai
Kbox
Jap Food
Shopping!!
Driving
Drama
AHHHHHHHHHHH~

2009-10-27T23:31:00.001+08:00

counting down...
i've to hang on...

2009-10-17T12:17:00.001+08:00

3 ongoing projects.

omgzxzx.

just don't understand why they took it so srsly.

is it me or is it the school?

we can't just walk and think straight all the time.

sometimes we need to play the game the right way.

oh wells, i just don't see anything wrong in it.

2009-10-01T11:22:00.002+08:00

I thought i felt the tremors again this morning about 11am. Anyone?

//edit (6.23pm)

oops. i think it was at 10am. i was sleeping so yea..

my rocking bed woke me up again..

i thought i was hallucinating.

until i yahoo-ed news and found out that there was another earthquake in the morning :(

FYI: i felt the tremors yesterday as well while i was SLEEPING at about 6+pm.

yesterday's one lasted longer and it was more serious.

2009-09-29T15:00:00.004+08:00

I know i'll be hitting the TWO in no time but sometimes i really wish to have parents who are supportive. ( something that people always take granted )
Was web-surfing and i chanced upon a webby on s correction.
i don't know if it's true but i definitely want to give it a try.
who doesnt want to be normal anyway. and obviously the cost of treatment is not within my financial capability.
I don't feel comfortable talking about it with my dad.
He wasn't even with me when i was growing up...
I don't wanna tell my mummy about it either.
She already has a lot to worry...
and my aunt?
99% of the time she doesn't understand how i feel.

so i'm gonna work damn hard during the holidays.
Time to save up.

-Driving + treatment = $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

2009-09-28T10:16:00.001+08:00

'cos you'll never feel the same way

therefore you'll never know how it feels.

2009-09-22T12:45:00.002+08:00

everytime when it happens i take a step back,

i build wall around me.

so that no one can see me

so that no one can reach me

so that i'd never get hurt.

you knock the wall down

and it happens again

i build the wall

you knock the wall down

and it happens again

i build the wall

it's like a vicious cycle.

2009-09-15T12:41:00.002+08:00

ME CAN'T WAIT FOR RECESS WEEK~

Budden again after recess week spells t-e-s-t and more tests and more tests.

2009-09-09T21:15:00.001+08:00

this is it.

2009-09-07T20:11:00.001+08:00

2009-08-31T18:41:00.003+08:00

Currently in school waiting for my dad to pick me up.

urgh. it seems as though school has only just started but we are actually onto our 4th week already!! Tooo FAST!!

As much as i try, i still can't keep up with my readings. Nevertheless, i'm still gonna try!
How did i survive year 1 without reading my readings until the very last minute?! when i say very, it means v e r y. so much so that Elicia said that im a very lucky girl to have survive year 1, with that kinda lifestyle.

Tests coming up for the next 2 weeks!
Can't wait for recess week.
i'm sure this sem gonna past really quickly as well.
soon i'll be out of this school. (YAYor NAY) idk.

2009-08-29T01:16:00.001+08:00

my old old one-eyed teddy.

2009-08-01T00:27:00.003+08:00

emo shit

YAY! I got 3 out of 5 modules already.
But at a VERY VERY EXPENSIVE PRICE, seriously.
like the highest bid i've ever placed :(

2 more to go!

I MISS TAIWAN
I MISS MY DEAR

and i d'know why..
I MISS EXCEL..

2009-07-22T23:59:00.004+08:00

I cannot earn 1k cos i give up after 1 week.
My feet really hurts. I need foot reflexology, seriously!
and i really have to stay away from the sun.

SIGH.
I actually thought that bidding begins on the 29th when it starts on 27th!!
Thank God Elicia reminded me if not i'll miss round 1 of bidding -cries out loud-
sighsighsigh. which means i must bid in Taiwan.
And so, i have to plan my time-table by Friday!

Please let me get all my modules. *prays*

2009-07-12T11:38:00.010+08:00

Updates(:

I've been working for only 3-4 days per week and earning crap money.
Now, for my trip to Taiwan, i shall work a full week (6 days) and earn crazy money again!
Even though the location for the next week sucks, BIG TIME! :(:(:(
10 more days for me to earn crazy money.
Aiming for 1k!!
12 books per week hitting my allowance!

I BELIEVE THAT I CAN DO IT AGAIN!!

I've to admit that i'm afraid.
Afterall this isn't the first time.
Prove me wrong, will you?

2009-06-24T21:45:00.003+08:00

it was raining/ drizzling at waterloo today!
pitching in the rain was horrible but i guessed sometimes we managed to gain sympathy from people there.

31 cards today.

6 more to 16 books! (:

2009-06-23T21:05:00.002+08:00

only 45 cards today.

12 ppl from xcel and dynamic at waterloo.
everyone's like so sick of all the people asking for donations.
LOL

8 more books to 16. (:

2009-06-22T22:20:00.001+08:00

58 cards.

omgomgomg. gotta hit 16 books this week to get wilfred's bonus!
4 more days to do 11 books.

I can do it!

Waterloooooooooooo.

2009-06-18T22:38:00.003+08:00

Raffles place on monday and tuesday!
Tuesday was a bad day with bad sales.
got cheated by Leon. grrr.. only did 9 cards on that day.
Nevermind. whatever that don't kill me makes me stronger!
lol whatever. =/
Thanks for everyone who showed concern on that day.
SORRY SORRY.

A.M.K with felicia, and the 'pervert' team.
Fel did 13 cards on her very first day! JUICE (:
so proud of her. hahaha.
and i managed to hit 42 cards ;D

Waterloo with fel, hongwei, shengye and Jeremy.
43 cards today, seems like i can never reach my fooorrr tee fii..
And I guess i didn't do my part as a leader 'cos i really dunno what to do when i see Fel being so demoralised but i did try to motivate her and all.

What i want to say is that...

Don't be afraid of rejections.
Every 'No' brings you closer to a "YES'
and if you think that you can't do it
at least what you can do is to MINIMIZE your loss
by trying to approach people. (:

No matter how good we are, we do get rejections too so don't give up! (:

2009-06-10T21:51:00.006+08:00

I didn't get my lavender!!
ohwells, waterloo wasn't that bad.
love going out field with biqi. we'r always full of nonsense. joy fun and laughter.
and my observer stayed thru' out the whole day!
he's quite funny too!

anyway, there was this challenge going on and those who lose/draw had to eat Mad Dog Chilli.
Fyi, it's some darn effing spicy chilli that will make your lips swell and stomach churn.
many of those who ate less than a spoon puked, cried and rolled on the floor.
They were taken to the doctor. sigh. Hope that they are feeling better now.

and i didn't help Biqi to eat half of the amount of chilli she was supposed to eat.
i promised to help her but seeing upon how Ashley reacted when she ate the chilli
i was really damn freak out,almost cried when i saw them in pain.
Pray that they'd be fine tomorrow.

p.s OMGZXZXWTHBBQ i just googled and i realised the chili that they ate is ranked the top 5 hottest chili.
http://www.chilefarm.co.uk/top15.html

2009-06-09T19:38:00.003+08:00

reaching out for th stars.

Fooor teee fii

this week gonna be a bumble beeeee zeeee weeek!

I'll be going to sister claire's chalet after work to celebrate her birthday...

sigh sigh.

really hope i can get lavender tomorrow!

and no cramps tmr please.

-prays-

2009-06-08T21:48:00.004+08:00

NO MONDAY BLUES (:

woke up with a damn bad cramp

but luckily i dragged myself out of my bed!!

'cos i broke my record!! Weee~

I want to go for lasik!!!

2009-06-07T01:21:00.004+08:00

36 cards & grabbing the bonus(:

almost made it to the top 'khalis' team average!
with a difference of only 0.5!! grrr... nevermind.
Divine rocks man. we grabbed all the xtc points as well ;D
way to go!
my goal: 40 cards.
mai siao siao. must get w's bonus. teeheeheee.

going down to operation renewal tmr to see who we have been helping!
seems like we're doing volunteer work everyday.
damn tiring but saturday is always a good day.
cos i get to see cash rolling in - money face- hahahaa

I've been getting frequent headaches recently.
must be due to the fact that i always pitch under the scorching sun.
no idea why i always get this kinda sucky places.
i want KOVAN :(:(:(:(
hahaha, nevermind. waterloo's good as well..

dinner at sakae w Divine and Audacious.
Wenhao's treat cos he promised to treat Ashley and me if he never do more than 30 cards
hahaha in the end he overslept so he didn't do any!
luckily, he never asked me to eat wasabi sandwich cos i did shyt on that day as well..
Arcade with the guys after dinner..

cabbed home.
i swear the taxi uncle was damn funny.
especially his gestures ( hands/fingers actions) when he speaks.
super anti Singapore. LOL.

99 percent of the above post is about work.
pardon me if you do not get it. HAHAHAHA

WORK WORK WORK = NO LIFE >.<

2009-06-03T22:56:00.001+08:00

I was robbed in my dream.

frigging scary.

2009-06-02T23:27:00.002+08:00

i have joy i have fun i have season in the sun.

OMGOMG THE GUYS DISCOVERED MY PRI/SEC NICKNAME!!
XIAMIAN aka PRAWN NOODLE
WTH SO RANDOM ONE!!

chinatown really sucks big time. urghhh..
gotta improve my mandarin pitching!
JIAYOU Chamayne.
DON'T LET THIS PULL YOU DOWN!!
HUAT AHHH :X

2009-06-01T20:55:00.003+08:00

YAY!! (: DIVINE ROCKS.

BUT MY FACE/PHOTO LOOKS LIKE SHIT.

SOMEONE SAYS I LOOK abit LIKE A MAID.

BOOOO.

MANPUKU with Ashley in the afternoon.

i swear we were smiling and eating at the same time..

damn heavenly.

p.s the photo doesnt do justice to the food. got to go try! ;D

2009-05-29T21:35:00.004+08:00

33 and breaking it! Juice(:

F.O.C.U.S

Forget Other Commitment Until Success!

2009-05-28T21:58:00.001+08:00

5 cards (:

I met my cai shen ye today!

2009-05-27T22:09:00.000+08:00

SUNBURNT?!?!

2009-05-24T22:45:00.001+08:00

I'd rather be alone.

2009-05-20T23:45:00.001+08:00

BUSY BUSY BUSY.

GONNA BE BUSY BUSY.

JUST GOT A JOB.

HOPE IT'S GONNA BE FUN.

PICTURES UP WHEN IM FREE.

2009-05-19T19:11:00.002+08:00

I WILL NEVER WATCH DVD IN MY BROTHER'S ROOM AGAIN!

STUPID LOUSY SAMSUNG HOME THEATRE!

2009-05-18T18:55:00.001+08:00

awww.. so in love.. ;D

2009-05-16T08:48:00.002+08:00

It feels weird.

Yesterday was weird.

Today's gonna be weird too.

Why does everything feels weird?

like out of place.

2009-05-14T16:37:00.006+08:00

Singing session with Elicia and Elmo yesterday at Ten Dollars Club ( i think?)

Elmo and I did not know the exact location of the KTV.

Elicia tried telling us all the Famous stalls at Chinatown but both of us know NONE of them.

After like 5-10 minutes, Elicia finally found us!

She then became our "tour guide".

AND OFF WE GO :D

srsly, 5 hours for 10 bucks is super cheap.

which is inclusive of free flow of drinks!

We were quite lucky considering the fact that we got a room despite without reservation heard from my friends that it's hard to get a room there! YAY.

Poor elmo and elica must have had a hard time listening to my horrible singing!

HAHAHAHA!

On a side note, i was supposed to go to town with Scott today

but i'm having a really bad stomach cramp now..

Don't really want to spoil his mood with all my grumbles and whatnots

so i told him that we can go to town tomorrow instead =/

Hope he doesn't mind!

P.S: i'm currently looking for jobs! Anyone with lobangs, please contact me eh! Thanks! LOVES (:

2009-05-12T22:23:00.005+08:00

Zouk/Phuture on Saturday (:

YAY. Got to know really fun people like Chunwee, Huier, Kelly and the guy from 2-6 ( i forgot his name! Oops)

We chilled at mac before heading to zouk.

AND WEIHAO SAID SOMETHING WHICH WAS DAMN HILARIOUS. OMGOMG!

and among all the drinks, my favourite has got to be Apple shooter! ;D

Pris, kelly, Huier and chunwee left at about 2am

then Weihao left later, LOL!

the rest stayed and party till the lights came on (:

reached home at about 430am.

FUN FUN! ;D

credit goes to Cheehong, the organiser! :D

* * *

MK with XX ( MOMOREN) till 430 am yesterday.

i'm deprived of beauty sleep, seriously.

AND LINYING MENTIONED PARTYING ON THURS?!

oh no.

* * *

I hope i'm right on this.

Giving it a last shot.

2009-05-08T16:37:00.006+08:00

i'm blessed(:

Yipeee! Exams are over! (:

Chamayne is a happy girl!

heehee. here are a few people i would like to show my gratitude to..

My daddy for sending me to school early in the morning even though he was super tired.

Elicia, clearing my doubts. Helping this blur friend out. (: Thanks for keeping me in your prayers. (:

Elmo for being there for everything that he has done to cheer this emo girl up. (:

Xiang always being there, listening to my rantings.

Kenny- picking me up and sending me home for my PL3235 paper. and of course, for the food and medicine.

Cheehong for showing care and concern - the medicine too.

Gy for his understanding.

Scott for helping out with my report. (:

and to everyone thanks for your well wishes.

Thank You, from the top, bottom, left, right and center of my heart!! (:

it's time to parrteeeh

2009-05-05T00:30:00.003+08:00

Every Little Thing

Officially 2 more days to freedom.

Sadly, I'm still unprepared for tomorrow's paper.

Anyway, the purpose of this post is to wish my buddy a very...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HANDSOME (:

Stay handsome & Keep smiling!

Loves.

2009-05-04T13:17:00.004+08:00

pl2131 really killed me today.
I was like flipping the textbook the whole of 2 hours.
frantically finding the pages but to no avail, i couldn't find :(

I didn't even have a single clue on what the hell the questions were asking.
BLANK BLANK BLANK
i think Mr Why Y.P will have a good time marking my paper 'cos i wrote like 1 sentence for a 10 marks question? >.<
Sigh.

I really hope to have God's grace.
*prays hard*
I don't wanna retake this module :(

alrights, enough of all these. kinda feel better now..
anyway, it's not like it helps..
gonna go nap and prepare for the next paper.

Hopefully, this will turn out fine! (:
keep me in your prayers, thanks!

2009-04-29T16:45:00.002+08:00

B- ='(

pl2131 is just out to kill me.

2009-04-26T15:50:00.003+08:00

E L E V E N

Yesterday was a good and a bad day for me!
First half of the day totally sucks big time.
Running to the toilet like 34239083259023 times.
felt like puking and all.
Heh, thanks Kenny for sending me to school and picking me up after my horrible paper!
not to mention, the food and medicine you had gotten for me (:
Of course, Cheehong for his medicine toooooo(:
And people who had shown concern in one way or another.
Thank you so much (:

I haven't started reading my 17 chapters!
I know tomorrow's paper gonna be a killer too
but i just can't wait to get over and done with it.
OH YAA YUHENG BOUGHT MY HAVAIANAS METAL LOGO SLIPPERS FROM AUSSIE!
THANK YOU!!
okay, random.
back to my boring textbook!
TOODLES! (:
<3<3<3

2009-04-24T18:26:00.004+08:00

All these while, i've been running away.

I know i've been giving the same excuse over and over again.

Deep down, deep down, i feel really really terrible.

Once again, friends have never failed to stand by me.

I was then thrown into a state of confusion.

I'm afraid to move on,

even more afraid to take step back.

It feels that i've to keep on running,

for fear that i may fall and succumb.

My bad.

****

On the other hand, it has been so long since i felt so cared for.

Thanks(:

****

alrights, " it's time for me to get back to my life.."

back to my books/notes :(

tomorrow is the start,

I'm so looking forward to the END.

3 months break awaits for me, gee.

"see ya bitches"

xoxo

mayne(:

2009-04-23T03:09:00.003+08:00

EXAMS IN 2 DAYS.

IT'S JUST TOO SOON :(

freaking 3am now. i should just turn in.

nights earthlings.